Papa's Got A Brand New Peg Bag

Cripes, I went all quiet.

There I was, quite enjoying this whole young people's blog world malarky and someone went and got in the way with the real one. Bumso eh?

Sorry I've been off the old radar. After the deep political insight of my last offering I know many people were left feeling palpable excitement at the brink of a New Dawn. Crack on Mr Brown, Ms H.Bird is in the House and bringing in proper policies - with crisps and everything.

And then I went and spoiled it all by saying something stupid like 'oh blimey, I'd better do a spot of work that I get paid for.'

I hate it when that happens, don't you? Don't worry, I'm sure it was just a blip and won't happen again for a while. Phew.

Naturally, since we last spoke, life here at Bird Towers has been packed with Glamorous Events and Free Stuff on a daily basis. Well, to be strictly accurate it hasn't but I think that's called poetic licence. (Not entirely sure that's how you spell 'licence' but we'll push on).

Anyway, as I was saying, absolutely LOADS has been happening so here is a list to bring you up to date. For Ease Of Use I have listed them in order of importance. Hang onto your hats as it's been very busy so there are over two things on the list:

1. I've got a peg bag.

I know - how brilliant is that? Very brilliant, that's what. It's pink and in the shape of a dress like it's for a dolly. It's got strawberries printed on it and it's on a coat hanger and if that isn't enough excitement for you, it holds over 5 pegs as well.

2. I've got a whirly washing line B&Q called An Airer.

Well, after the adrenalin rush brought on by the aforementioned Bag, I thought I'd go bonkers and get the washing line too in order to show the neighbours my pants on a more regular basis. It turns out it's called A Rotary Airer and you can even buy it an anorak for when it's down and it's raining. To be fair I thought that was going over the top a bit because we all get a bit down when it's raining and not everyone always feels better just because they have an anorak so I thought it probably wasn't worth it.

3. I had some proper grown up photos taken.

In a studio with lights and a man who wore socks and no shoes and I don't know what else.

'Hi I'm Pete,' said the nice man with a camera.

'Hello. Should I just call you Bailey?' I said politely, having Read About Photographers.

'Er no, not really,' he offered. 'That's not my name.'

Surly wasn't he?

I took 2 suit jackets and some jumpers with me and weirdly almost all of them made me look fat which just goes to show cameras DO add four stone to you just as Kerry Katona has said in Reveal. As I am also a keen follower of Miss Katona's Iceland Diet which consists of multiple sausage rolls and frozen puddings made from mattresses I think this could also have been a factor.

No irrefutable evidence though on that point so I stocked up on cheese balls at the weekend as usual. They're virtually fruit.

So that's more than enough really. As you can tell I've been rushed off my feet.

I'm off now to pop in some washing. Next time I may tell you about The Day I Got The Linen Basket. Good eh?

What was that noise? Gosh - you mean ALL of you are going to be busy?